Is it weird to write with your dad about sex?

My first textbook is now out!

Exciting news.

My first textbook has been published! The book is called Human Sexuality in a Changing World and is meant for college students enrolled in a Human Sexuality course.

Human Sexuality courses explore the biological, psychological, and sociocultural aspects of human sexual behavior, and cover topics like sexual anatomy, reproductive health, sexual orientation, gender identity, sexual development, relationships, and societal norms and attitudes towards sexuality.

Our book helps students engage in research and analysis to understand the complexity and diversity of human sexual experiences.

One of the key aspects of positive masculinity involves respecting others for who they are, regardless of their gender, sexuality, race/ethnicity, or any other characteristic. As soon as we genuinely do this, we break down the societal walls that dictate who we should be and how we should be.

Other exciting news is that I have recently received a magazine publication in XY Online.

“Isn’t it weird and awkward to write with your dad about sex?”

You may notice that I share a last name with the first author of the book. And, yes, he is my father.

This is the 11th edition of this text; it’s been around for a while. I remember, as a teenager, my friends coming over, pulling this book off of the shelf, opening it up to images of naked people, penises and vaginas, or—if lucky—just a ton of text about things like vaginismus. They’d say things like “OH MY GOD, your dad writes about this stuff?!” Some thought it was the coolest and others were horrified.

Fast forward a couple decades through my long lost career in the performing arts, a master’s degree, a PhD, and here I am writing with him.

Look, I’m not going to be a total liar and say, “No, of course it’s not weird to write about sex with my dad! Why would it be?” Sure, it’s a bit weird (and a bit hilarious) to be sending drafts back and forth of chapters and photos on penile dysfunction. (By the way, there are many topics in the book that are not about sex.)

… but damn, how lucky am I to have a dad who’s knowledgeable about “this stuff” and who’s dedicated so many years to explaining complex constructs like sexuality, gender identity, masculinity, and femininity to youth?

And how lucky am I that I now get to do the same?

Being a boy parent, I see how writing books like these can be powerful in shaping boys' understanding of positive masculinity. They provide foundational knowledge that, in turn, helps promote traits like empathy, respect, and emotional intelligence.

I’m excited that, through this book, and through my Bringing Up Boys content, I get the opportunity to help boys and boy parents embrace a more inclusive and flexible understanding of gender roles and to learn about the multifaceted nature of masculinity.

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Some other thoughts about books that promote positive masculinity.

I want to take a moment to talk about some lighter reading that is likely a bit more relevant to you.

My son is still deep in his princess obsession and has recently employed me to purchase multiple princess books. Typically in recommending resources that foster positive masculinity, I would recommend books that are more clearly geared towards men and boys.

But through these princess books I am reading daily, I’ve recognized that they kind of do just as good of a job promoting positive masculinity as any other book I might recommend.

Princesses are not only great role models for girls; they’re great examples for boys and for children of any gender.

If anyone thinks that they are making their sons more feminine or that they’re instilling the wrong values in their sons by letting them consume hours of princess content, keep reading.

If you’re trying to steer your son away from screens, why not try reading a book about princesses?

I’ve made a list of typical princess characteristics and how they apply to the boys we are raising to be the men we want to see in the world. I created this list after being inspired by a children’s book entitled “What Is A Princess?”

Here we go. Princesses are:

1. Kind and Compassionate

   • We want our boys to be kind-hearted and compassionate. We want them to show empathy and concern for others.

2. Brave and Courageous

   • We want our sons to display bravery and courage in the face of challenges and threats with a strong, determined spirit.

3. Intelligent and Wise

   • We want our sons to be intelligent and wise. We want them to make thoughtful decisions and help guide their friends and peers to do the same.

4. Resilient and Determined

   • We want our sons to be resilient, capable of overcoming obstacles, and persevering through tough situations. We want them to have the determination to achieve what they want to achieve.

5. Leaders

   • We want our sons to take on leadership roles and to show a sense of responsibility and a commitment to cause.

6. Generous

   • We want our sons to be generous. We want them to see the importance of paying attention to the needs of others.

7. Independent and Strong-Willed

   • We want our sons to be independent, strong-willed, assertive and proactive.

8. Loyal

   • We want our sons to be loyal to their families, friends, and others they care about.

9. Curious and Open-Minded

   • Princesses don’t seem to judge too much, and we don’t want our sons to either. We want our sons to be curious and open-minded. We want them to be eager to learn new things and explore the world.

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