“Honestly, since he’s a boy, I don’t worry much about anything.”
A conversation that's stuck with me.
You know when something someone once said just sticks with you, even years later?
When my closest friend gave birth to her son, the love I felt for him was immense. I felt bonded to him as if he were my own. I spent a significant amount of time with him when he was a newborn, and I still call him my baby (he turns 9 this month).
One day, when he was about 4-years-old and getting more entrenched in the school environment, I was at the playground with my friend and him. As I watched him run around and play without a care in the world, I said to my friend, “Do you ever worry about him being a boy? Do you worry about him fitting in? Or being made fun of? Or bullied? Kids can be so mean.”
Her response was interesting—so interesting that I still think about it today. She looked at me and said, “Honestly, Taylor, since he’s a boy, I don’t worry much about anything.”
My mind was blown.
I wonder if she was thinking that, because she has a son, she doesn’t have to be as concerned with things like his safety walking home alone at night; his body image, self-esteem, educational opportunities, reproductive health; gender inequality and bias; media representation dangerously influencing standards of beauty.
Although I appreciated her carefree attitude and relaxed parenting style, and I could empathize with her perspective to some extent, I find myself continuing to contemplate the particular challenges that children of different genders face.
The message.
I don’t mean to scare the boy parents who are reading this. My message is not, “ACTUALLY MY FRIEND IS CRAZY AND HAS A LOT TO WORRY ABOUT.” But my message is this: boys have unique challenges that parents should not ignore.
Because I believe this message is so important, I want to provide you with another free(!) download.
I want to empower you, as a boy parent, to not only know what’s coming, but to feel confident and capable knowing that you can totally navigate what’s coming.
So please download my guide (for free!): Unique challenges among boys that parents can totally navigate.
In this guide, you can read about (and receive tips for navigating) how things like emotional expression, risk-taking behavior, education, body image, self-esteem, independence, and male friendships uniquely impact boys.
Gender norms certainly exist. They’re also here to stay, even if it pains me to say. But if you stick with me, they don’t need to be harmful.
When people say "boys are easier to raise than girls," I think it reflects more on the different ways people parent boys and girls than anything about the kids themselves.