Back to School!
Tips for the challenges that come with this big transition.
I don’t know about you, but I have mixed feelings about summer ending and transitioning back to school.
Part of me would love to bottle up summer to make it last a longer (I am a school teacher and so I wouldn’t mind a little extra time before going back!), but the other part of me feels extremely burnt out from the extra childcare that inevitably comes with the summer season.
After [partially] processing my denial, I want to share some thoughts with you.
Whether your son has already returned to school or returns soon… whether he’s returning to the same school or will be entering a new one… I have some tips and scripts to make his transition back as smooth as possible.
The transition back to school can be daunting—for kids and parents alike. Boys also learn differently than girls, so it’s important we help them pump up their confidence about their return to school with that understanding.
First off, if you haven’t already, I would start to engage in conversations about the transition back to school with your son right away. Even if you still have a couple weeks left before school starts, it’s not too soon to start talking about it! When parents have a handle on an anxiety-provoking situation, kids have less anxiety about that situation.
Here are some strategies for going into conversations with both younger and older boys that acknowledge their feelings about returning to school:
Acknowledge that transitions are hard. Perhaps even offer a personal anecdote about a time that was hard for you and how you got through it.
Emphasize the processes of growth and learning over obtaining perfect results. True confidence develops with effort; not praise.
Encourage problem-solving, independence, and confidence.
Reinforce the importance of kindness and empathy towards peers.
Express your unconditional love and support as a parent.
These strategies might sound something like this in conversation:
“Ugh, sometimes starting something new can feel a bit scary. New teachers, new friends, a new classroom… how do you think that might feel? What do you think would help you feel safe?”
“Sometimes we don’t understand things the first time we see or hear them, but if we ask questions, we’ll understand eventually. Not everything is easy for everyone.”
“If something seems wrong or you’re having a hard time with a friend, you can try to talk it out on your own first, but remember that your teacher is always there for you to go to.”
“Some kids may feel the same way as you or even more nervous about starting school. I bet they’d really appreciate a kind friend.”
“Even if you have a hard day, I’m always there for you when you get home. I’m so excited to hear about school. Both the amazing and not-so-amazing parts.”
As I mentioned earlier, boys and girls learn differently. It’s just the truth. Here are 4 specific differences in learning that can help you prepare your son (and help you with your own expectations) for school:
Attention and Focus: many boys have shorter attention spans than girls, especially at younger ages; many are more easily distracted and restless when required to sit still for long periods; and many benefit from movement and hands-on activities.
Learning Approaches: many boys prefer visual and kinesthetic learning styles; many learn better when allowed to move around; and many respond well to time pressure.
Information Processing: many boys can focus only on one task at a time; many benefit from mastering techniques before moving on; and many process information more quickly but less thoroughly than girls.
Social and Emotional Factors: many boys may be less emotionally expressive in the classroom than girls; and many often show empathy through physical touch or actions.
As parents, understanding how boys learn differently can change and enhance our approach to preparing them for school. It can also change our approach to how we spend our time with them outside of school.
We can encourage them to engage in physical play before and after school if they’ve endured long periods of sitting. Activities like playing outside, shooting hoops, or riding bikes can help them release energy and improve their focus.
Perhaps if they’re having trouble understanding something in school, we can help supplement by incorporating visual aids like diagrams and videos.
Developing self-regulation skills is also crucial, and some boys may struggle with impulse control. Practicing waiting skills and breaking tasks into smaller, manageable chunks can help them build these abilities. With that, their confidence will flourish.
Last, to ease the transition back to the school environment, you can take your son to visit the school or classroom beforehand so he can familiarize himself with his new surroundings.
You might also try reading books about starting school to address any anxieties he may have. (I ordered The Pigeon HAS to Go to School! for my son).
Here’s to supporting our sons as they navigate their educational journeys! We got this. You’re an amazing parent who’s doing a kickass job.